A Capital Idea

I’ve been reading a book by a buddhist neuroscientist about brains and came across an interesting passage about how evolutionary pressures predispose us to anxiety and fear. The author’s premise was that natural selection has influenced human consciousness to see ourselves as separate from our environment and to constantly seek stability in our surroundings. And, from a survival standpoint, it makes sense that we need to see ourselves as individuals with agency and we need to establish predictability for the sake of reliably eating and reproducing. However, in a world where we are inextricably interdependent with nature and where change is the only constant, these drives for autonomy and comfort are naturally at odds with reality. And, being opposed to reality rarely results in any tenable strategies for happiness. The author uses this as an argument for meditating so that we can have a more accepting relationship with the world and our place in it.

Having weathered Hurricane Helene and its continued aftermath, we haven’t had much opportunity to ignore our relationship to our environment really, and maybe that’s for the best. Similar to the hundreds of thousands of trees in or forests, I find my roots loosened and I see a lot of new holes in the canopy above. I notice that I am happier when I am away from my home, most noticeably when I’m traveling with my family. I feel more drawn to novelty than security and all of the recent changes show how much of an illusion security truly is anyhow.

After 16 years of never particularly expressing an interest in anything in particular besides cats, books, and quietly becoming very good at lots of things, Stella recently texted me about a concert in Washington D.C. by Aurora, an artist the entire family enjoys. I am in the odd position of often wishing that my teenage daughter was more needy, so after some changes in my work schedule and some furious googling of the details, we decided to make a weekend of it.

We left the morning after I’d worked a night shift in the ER, so I delegated myself to the role of providing charismatic commentary to the driver and finding weird random music to listen to. Turns out our family enjoys some “Gay Club Anthems” according to Spotify. Stella was able to help with driving and twice she made it all the way up to the speed limit. Fanny found us a some just-edgy-enough-for-family standup comedy to listen to and we made it into a cute victorian brownstone rental house just after midnight.

*taking a break from the cold in the national arboretum*

We spent a day walking the Capital Mall and learning about various buildings and the history of DC. We spent a fair bit of time talking about the disparity between our nation’s official opinions on human rights and our actual history of ignoring them. The statue “Freedom” on top of the capital was made with slave labor and Trump certainly isn’t the first misogynistic, lying, megalomaniac to be a chosen representative of the people. My father has always said that “In a democracy, the people get the government that they deserve.” It may be time for use to take a little closer look in the mirror.

When I was growing up, we went to Washington DC fairly regularly to visit the Smithsonian and I learned a reverence for museums. When I look at the values that are assumed in my family over the last several generations, “education” is a glaring contender for the lead. On both sides of my family, education has been the tool that made it possible to find a way out of poverty. Museums were a free educational opportunity and not to be passed up. My father would often start at one end of a museum and read everything in order until he go to the end before rejoining the family wherever we had exhausted our more limited intellectual curiosity.

*I continually find this picture deeply disturbing.*

*This was the least interesting dinner party I’ve ever been to.*

We went to the National Gallery of Art, which was a favorite of mine growing up. I remember being excited to see, in person, works of art that I had only read about or seen pictures of. What I notice now, especially with children of the digital age, is that imagery is cheap these days. It has become so easy to see any image with profound clarity and resolution that seeing an original is often only notable at an abstract intellectual level. I do see how much the idea of capturing images has driven our history and how imagery has been used to shape our view of ourselves. Sometimes, I think of Ayn Rand’s critique of Christianity, “When you love everyone, what is your love worth?” and wonder, similarly; what power does imagery have now that we can see whatever we want whenever we want on a phone? To me, it seems that it has become a way to foolishly reassure ourselves that the world looks like we expect. Or worse, to see what the world expects of us through a mirror distorted by greed and insecurity. All that being said, I still believe that our museums and parks represent the better parts of the American dream of equality and I hope that my kids understand that all people deserve access to natural beauty the free exchange of ideas and information.

From the Capital mall we walked to get some Indian food, to the national outdoor sculpture gallery, and then back into town for some snacks and espresso. Also a cocktail made from Prosecco, grapefruit juice, and bergamot bitters which may have just been my favorite drink of all time. Traveling with kids this age is a real sweet spot in the span of parenting. To see old sights through new eyes is unique and thought provoking. Having the chance to see the crucible of democratic thought, it’s bold experiments and pervasive failures. The idealism that the ideas in our constitution inspired in me when I was younger has taken such a beating from watching how poorly we have treated the gifts of liberty. It is helpful to see the optimism of a new generation. As a parent I think that trading kids wisdom for hope is a pretty good bargain sometimes.

The next day we set out to explore some more distinctly touristy attractions including the “Museum of Illusions” and the “O Street Mansion”, a maze built from several conjoined houses with secret passages and oddly themed rooms.

After resting up a bit back at the house, we headed back out for dinner and the concert. Accidentally ending up in a very wrong part of town we eventually made it down to the wharf for some oysters, French fries and champagne, one of my favorite culinary pairings. “The Anthem” was the venue for the concert and was one of the most well-designed concert halls I’ve seen. All seats had incredible views and the bar used reusable, recyclable cups for some local beers and a good selection of coffee drinks. The sound and lights were perfect. Good full sound without the risk of hearing loss. Both Biig Piig and Aurora put on excellent shows and managed to make an all age venue feel welcoming without being tritely “kid-friendly”. It’s been a while since I’ve been passionate about live music, but again, seeing the magic created by lights and sounds in big space through the eyes of teens is really exciting. It’s easy to forget how much higher my threshold for novelty is as an adult and nice to remember how much of an impact these types of experiences had on me when I was younger.

Somewhat bedraggled by a whirlwind 48 hours we headed back to Asheville early, with Stella helping with more of the driving. We got stuck in traffic jam after traffic jam but were still glad to have had a chance to escape some routines and see new things as a family. These sort of spontaneous trips are hard to pull off, but with Stella’s inspiration, Fanny’s planning, Jude’s enthusiasm, and my ability to carry lots of luggage it went really smoothly.

Armadillo Island

Faithless is a compliment